How Could I Be Loved

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Unable to accept love was my crime

Feeling that I wasn’t worthy of such a gift

Unsure how to act

When you showed it to me time and time again

A horrible sinner was I

Lost in the aspects of this world

Unable to accept the possibility

Why would you love me

How could you care

What was I to you but unwelcoming

You put people in my life to try to show me how

Pushing them away was my response

But you never gave up

You knew I would

When I was at my lowest

Lost to my despair

You reached out your hand

Took a hold of my heart

Told me that through it all you are my son and I love you still

I could not run any longer nor hide my heart

I am your child and reborn into your grace

Thank you Oh Lord for never turning away.

What do you really see? — Putting My Feet in the Dirt

Do you look at the outside… Or do you look straight into my heart? Do you look past the exterior… Or do you just see all of my ugly parts? What do you really see… When you look at someone like me? Can it really be true… Is my heart what’s […]

via What do you really see? — Putting My Feet in the Dirt

Anticipation

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Being apart has been difficult from the start

This time was only for a brief moment

Though the minutes seemed like hours

The hours seemed like days

The days were a lifetime of missing you

Talking on the phone

Chatting on-line

A good salve to ease the time apart

My anticipation for your return

has grown deep inside my heart

To hold you once again

To see you in the flesh

To taste your lips that electrify me

I long for your return

Into my arms intertwined in your presence is what I yearn

 

 

For my wife who is gone for a short time, I wait for your return, I miss you…

Pictures

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Opening an old box

reaching in finding a treasure of the past

something that took a moment in time and froze it in place

a memory of a time

a memory of a place

a memory of a person

a memory of an event

pictures freeze history in place

watching your kids grow from babies to adults

looking back on the beauty that your wife has always had

seeing family that has long ago gone and those who left before their time

friends that you had forgotten

friends that you wish you could

memories can come flooding back and that frozen period in time

can bring back a full movie that was captured in that picture

People, places, events, time, friends, loves, family, so much more

Pictures freeze our past for the future to see

So many feelings come flooding in with each different one

Remember a picture is worth a thousand words……

 

108 Years…109?

 

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How much time has passed

Two World Wars, Korea, Vietnam, The Cold War, Iraq, Afghanistan

Presidents from Roosevelt, the first one to Obama, to well we will leave that one alone

Stock Market crashes, men to the moon, computers and cell phones

Tragedies from the Titanic, the Hindenburg to 9-11

We have seen so much as a society over these past 108 years

The only thing unseen was a Cubs World Series Win

The outs come closer, the time is growing near

Will 108 be done or will it go to 109

Remembering my Uncle Earl sitting on his couch watching the Cubbies on WGN

Those lovable losers, names like Ernie Banks, Dave Kingman, Ryne Sandberg and so many more

Sometimes very close, but not just enough

For my friend Jim who bleeds Cubby blue

The time I think is now

End the curse of the goat and say an apology to Bartman

It is the year of the Cubs

Fly the “W” proudly

Unless they really screw it up over these last couple innings then, I guess just wait until next year.

Looks like they are going to give it up again

Heartbreak in the streets of Chicago, we will see

Do we stop at 108 or go on to 109

Cubs Win Cubs Win!!!!!

Harry Carey it’s time for a cold Budweiser

Holy Cow

 

Scared Little Boy

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Little boy why are you the way you are

What brought you to this point

Why so scared of monsters that don’t exist

Hiding in your room, keeping as quiet as possible

Leaving your house, so no one hears you go

Going from friends house to friends house seeking refuge

Why do you run and hide

What made you such a scared little boy

Who are those monsters that you run from

Grow up and be a man

Real men aren’t scared of monsters

Toughen up and don’t show your fear or emotions

Hide them deep inside, keep them locked away

Grow up little boy it is time you became a man

Hide it all away, it is the only way

Push it down, deep, deep down

You are no longer a little boy, but a grown man.

 

80’s Hair Bands to 90’s Grunge

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Back in the 80’s it was the decade of Me

or sometimes the decade of decadence

the music varied from Hard Rock to Dance to the beginning of Rap

I was what was termed a metal head

Seeing my first concert at the ripe old age of 13

Def Leppard and Uriah Heap, what mixture and treat

Finding out for the first time what they meant by contact high

spending my high school days listening to various bands

Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, Scorpions, Ozzy, Judas Priest

Banging my head in my friends cars as we played our music a full decibel

Going to concerts a various as Whitesnake, Great White and seeing Floyd outdoors

Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble, The Fabulous T-Birds kept me rocking the blues

Watching M-TV when it actually played videos

Saturday night was the Headbangers Ball night.

Then came the Glam rock time, with the big hair and makeup

bands like Poison, Cinderella, Twisted Sister, LA Guns

I could jam that stuff to

Then came Guns and Roses and the 80s began to wind down

What would be the next decades style of rock

Soon bands like Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Pearl Jam came along

The Hair Bands died out and Grunge came into style

Then around 1995 it all died out and the big things were what they called the Boy Bands

The end of music as I knew it

Now I still play my 80’s and early 90’s rock, but a lower volume

My kids look at me like I’m crazy

But I can still bang my head, well not so much now that I had surgery.

Oh 80’s where have you gone.

in the past with my youth and my pain free days.

 

 

 

Radiance

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Laying in our bed you slumber

Looking upon your face I am left stunned

The softness of your skin leaves me hypnotized

Your face shines with a radiance of many suns

I cannot look away from its brilliance

Left dazed and captured in your spell

I listen to the gentle rhythm of your breath

A music sweeter than any song sung

A smile rises upon your lips

Wondering what dream has brought it about

Your eyes slowly open to gaze into mine

I cannot look away, I have been caught

Your smile grows bigger as you say to me

I was dreaming of you


Picture Credit: Favim.com

 

 

 

 

Being a “Man”

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A real man shows no emotions

A real man is tough all the time

A real man never cries

A real man is this or that

I have been told my whole life

This is what being a “Man” is all about

What has this brought me

A life of pain that was held inside

Incarcerated into a lie

Today I have broken free

Vulnerability is not a weakness

it is a strength

Showing those close to you what you really are

Brings you closer to them

A real man is a person who, loves, cries, shows his true emotions and is real in how he feels.

 

For my wife who I was so distant from for so long, who I by my actions almost tore us apart. I love you with all my heart and know that you are and always will be a gift from God.