In your eyes
Reflecting back at me
I see myself mirrored back
My future with you teasing
Seeing what could be
My past with You tormenting
Seeing what could have been
What I comprehend is a glance
A sight of a love that we pray will grow
In your eyes I see a hope for our future
A sadness of our past
The love we share in the now.
Thoughts lost in nothingness
My mind is blank
Words absent from my fingers
Meandering images float through my head
Closing my eyes
Nothing comes in view
Just blurry views of moving forms
Unable to concentrate to bring them into focus
Straining my mind to get a glimpse
Oblivion is all I can ponder
So I end this time
Of rambling thoughts that take me back to……
Why did I want to serve my country?
What were the thoughts in my head?
I was young and had no real clue of the real world
My father had served, my brother and sister too
This isn’t why, it wasn’t to follow my family
It was much deeper than that
Something inside of me said I had more to give
I serve because I believe in this country
I believe in the ideals of freedom, liberty and that all men are created equal
Being a soldier means being willing to give of yourself for the rights of others
I swore an oath to protect my country against all enemies both foreign and domestic
As a Sergeant in the Army I know that no one is more professional then I
In the Army we are expected to live by seven main values
Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honesty, Integrity, Personal Courage
I serve because I want my children to be safe and to grow up being free
I know all this may sound a bit cheesy
Think to yourself what in your life do you feel so strongly about
That you would be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for others.
I am an American Soldier
Looking back upon my past
So much of it, I see much regret
How I acted and treated the ones I loved
Especially the one who I should have appreciated the most
Denying you the love you deserved
Not showing you how much I truly cared
I left so many words unspoken
I left so many feelings trapped inside
You needed just a few words of reassurance
Words describing how beautiful you are
When I think of the time I have wasted
A fool I was and it almost cost me it all
Today I will not let my heart hide how much I care
Tomorrow I will prove the depths of my love for you
Forever I will stand by your side as your friend, supporter, encourager and lover
I will live from today on forward with no regrets
For I will show you each day the enchantment you have upon my heart
Today, tomorrow and forever my love for you is true
What am I thankful for over this past year
I am thankful for the few close people I call my friend
I am thankful for my Mom who is always there when I need her
I am thankful for my Dad, stubborn as a mule, but a good father none the less
I am thankful for my brother who was always my protector as a little kid
I thankful for my big sister, it has been two years since you passed away, I miss you still
I am thankful for my In-laws who have accepted me as their son and brother
I am thankful for my children, four girls who are all amazing in their own way
I am thankful for my amazing wife, who has put up with me all these years and still loves me
I am most thankful for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who calls me son
Who has forgiven me when I really don’t deserve it.
I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving, wherever you are we can all give thanks for something.
To the love of my life
I must say it is time for me to let go
Time for me to let go of all my issues
Time to let go of all the feelings and emotions I have kept hidden in my soul
Time to let go of holding back on my ability to love and be whole
Time to let go of hiding behind my mask
Time to let go of the wall I created around myself
Time to let my heart go and merge with you
Time for me to let go and be the one you need me to be
It is time to go forward and become the man, husband, friend and lover you always deserved.
Wind blowing harder
Kicking up the sand
Trudging forward into the unknown
Sand blasting into my face
Unable to see my place
Walking, walking, walking
Forward I must go
Unyielding it beats against my skin
Tearing and blasting, ripping away
Pain is digging deeper
Can I go on
Blinding me, pushing back at me
My body feeling the strain
Going backwards is not an option
Left or right brings no relief
Forward I trudge into the abyss
Should I just give up
Sit down in the sand
Let it cover me over
To be found no more
Sometimes life throws you a curve
Something you should have seen coming
but you are too ignorant to see
Or unable to want to believe
What do I do
Where do I go
I want to fight on
Thinking things can change
Then sometimes doubt
creeps into my mind and make me want out
out of it all, love, life, everything
What do I follow my head or my heart
Do they even know what to do
Please Oh Lord hear my prayer
what am I suppose to do
Love is what I want and to give
Life with my one love is a journey I want to live
Please Oh Lord hear our prayers
I just want to thank all of you who have come and visited my site. I really didn’t expect anyone to read my stuff. I wasn’t sure where or what I was going to write about. If you have read my stuff I guess you can say my main muse was my lovely, beautiful, awesome wife. As you can tell I think the world of her and she was the one who told me that I could do this. I didn’t think I could and I for the longest time refused to write anything. I have also been able to let a lot of what I have felt and dealt with in my life. It has been a journey for me and hopefully you also. It is still hard to believe that I have over 50 followers to this site of mine. I have enjoyed reading so many of your blogs to, it has been an inspiration in my life. The beauty I see in so many of all of your writings and pictures has really been a blessing. The aspects of your lives that so many of you share has been uplifting to me and shown me there are so many other’s like myself going through daily issues. I can’t say thank you so much to all of you enough. I look forward to continuing on with my attempts at writing and finding that inner part of me that I didn’t know existed for such a long time. What do I have to be thankful for is the aspect of being able to share with all of you and for you to share back with me. I am thankful for the wonderful wife I have who I love so dearly and my wonderful children. I love this country of mine that I have given 20 years of my life serving and protecting. I still have a few years left in me, but I look forward to my next adventure in life. I am thankful that I am a child of Christ and that I have a Lord and Savior who has forgiven me even though I so often think I don’t deserve it. Happy Thanksgiving a little early to all of you, wherever you are or whatever country you live in. It is a holiday for giving thanks and here also for some football and good food, time with family and friends.
Thank you all…
Waiting for you
The anticipation as the flames begin to rise
Pulling you into my arms
Seeing the fire in your eyes
Bringing your lips to mine
Feeling the heat in our exchange
Sweet and spicy I taste
Craving you more I pull you closer in haste
My need for you intensifies
Wanting you all is my desire
Taking all of you, my lust rises higher
My need for you unassailable
The fieriness between us is indescribable
A Soldier's Walk 