Wounds of My Past

Deep pains that I thought would never pass

Scars of my youth I tried to stay hidden

Running from what I thought was so wrong

Hiding within a mask wishing I would never be found

All these traumas and bruises of what I believed not right

Kept me from you and out of the light

For years I hid from you what was hidden in my head

I thought I was a monster who should have been dead

You came to me with only your tenderness

I hid from you in the wilderness

Then a day came where it all began to crack

Letting my guard down I came out of the black

Opening up to you about my pains and my past

I thought you would flee

But instead you stayed with me

Freedom I found that day not long ago

Breaking these chains from my that which held me low

With that freedom came a love I had denied

It flowed from me like river run wild

My scars and pains laid bare

A love I have for you is eternal I swear


Picture Credit: Asoldierswalk

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Hiding

urban-1002149_960_720Who am I suppose to be

How am I suppose to act

What will they think of me

How much of the real me should I show them

Is the real me something they want to see

Will they react in horror or repulsion

Who am I really

Hiding myself in plain sight from those I care for the most

I keep the real me hidden inside

I let them see what I think they want to see

The world tells me I need to be like this and act like that

It’s not who I am, so I put up my mask

For so long I hide my real self from all

I lose track of who and what I am supposed to be

Holding those closest at arm length away

I lose who I am, I have gone astray

My facade of the fake me begins to crumble

Leaving me lost in my mind I stumble

Pushing, pushing, pushing away

Crashing, crashing, crashing one day

Till a voice says to me, son you have hidden away far to long

Become the man I have made you to be

Hide away no longer, let the you I created find the light of day

Show those you care about the real you

Throw away that mask and be free my son

I gave my blood to wash you clean from your past

Turn back to me and be mine again

Hidden no more, I have found the real me.

How Could I Be Loved

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Unable to accept love was my crime

Feeling that I wasn’t worthy of such a gift

Unsure how to act

When you showed it to me time and time again

A horrible sinner was I

Lost in the aspects of this world

Unable to accept the possibility

Why would you love me

How could you care

What was I to you but unwelcoming

You put people in my life to try to show me how

Pushing them away was my response

But you never gave up

You knew I would

When I was at my lowest

Lost to my despair

You reached out your hand

Took a hold of my heart

Told me that through it all you are my son and I love you still

I could not run any longer nor hide my heart

I am your child and reborn into your grace

Thank you Oh Lord for never turning away.