Twisted and turned upside down
Knotted an rolled stomach turns
Lifted and dropped hanging on
Looped and shook all around
This is what life can feel like
A rollercoaster ride with emotions on lead
Please let me take the merry go round next time.
Month: October 2016
Convicting! — See, there’s this thing called biology…
This little meme went through my facebook feed and kind of got me in the gut. Convicting, indeed. I absolutely do believe this, “marriage is a gift from God, the quality of our marriage is a gift from us to Him.” I think that applies to many things even beyond marriage, life in general for […]
The blue screen of death… Yeah, you know the one! — Putting My Feet in the Dirt
The blue screen of death Plagues my day From morning until nightfall Leaving me in disarray. Technicians with brilliant minds Seem not to exist For the blue screen of death Just persists and persists. Oh technology! You mess with my soul Don’t you realize I need to write In order to feel whole? […]
via The blue screen of death… Yeah, you know the one! — Putting My Feet in the Dirt
Renewal
Starting over is a scary idea
It means that what you thought was not ideal
Building something new out of what you were
Taking who you were and discarding the old
After the trials of these past few years
Almost losing that most dear to me
A love that means the most
I found a strength that I didn’t know was within
Love has strengthened my heart to be a better man
Love has revived me to be a better husband
Love has taken ahold of my soul to be better all around
I want my love to know that the change is true
The change in me is deeper than the surface
It comes from a place I didn’t know was real
So each day I will show that my love is real
That this change you see and feel is honest
I love you today, tomorrow, forever.
Pit of Despair
Darkness envelopes me as I’m pulled down
Into a place I can’t escape
My heart turning to stone
My soul lost from my site
Voices call to me
Worthless, unlovable, horrible, unwanted and much more
I try to scratch, I try to crawl my way out
Nothing I do can pull me from the deepening pit of despair
I begin to pull away from the ones I love
A mask I wear to hide my plight
Deep and deeper I fall
Voices tell me you know there is only one way out
I plan the only escape I believe is available
I write my children letters of goodbye
The one I love the most I don’t know how to reach
She has saved me before, but now I’m unsure
Something stops me but I know not why
But I still cannot escape my pit of despair
I begin to turn to mindless distractions
To quiet the voices, but they leave me a void
The one I love reaches to me, but I push her away again and again
A wall grows between us I fall further down
I want to escape and cannot find away
Things come to a head
She says I’m unsure if I can stay
I hit the bottom of my pit of despair
Awaiting me there is a light from somewhere
I look and I see a hand reaching to me
I’m pulled up and out and see the light of day
The rock around my heart begins to crumble
My soul awakens to the warmth and light
Is it to late to win my love back
A hand reaches to me and a voice says to me
My son you are loved, by grace you are mine
My Lord and Savior has saved me again
Why did I turn away and hide my shame
When he never turned from me
This is written to talk about my pain. There are times when we see no escape, but Jesus is always there and never turns away from us. Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Matthew 6:34, NIV Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I hope my love understands that I never stopped loving you or wanting you, I was unable to reach you and I ask for your forgiveness as we go forward each day. For tomorrow is a new day.
A Soldier's Walk 