Born Again

cross-72838_960_720Colossians 2:13 “And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses.”

John 3:6-7 “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.”

It was 2006 and I thought I had it all, a job that paid good, a beautiful family and yet I was empty inside. I constantly was looking for something to fill this emptiness I felt. Over the years I had turned to many things, alcohol, drugs, sex and many other things, but it didn’t fill that emptiness for long. I knew of God, but I was a very broken soul. I felt worthless in the eyes of all I knew and I knew that God would never want a broken soul like mine. I was just to damaged. Never did I think I could fall any further, but oh I was wrong, so wrong. My job was what I identified myself with, it was what I felt I needed to have to support and give my family everything. That night I went to work in a good mood, but the next morning I was being walked out of my job and was to never go back. I had been fired. The sting of it all, the failure I felt, the thought of how I had let down my family and it was just to much. I drove around for a while and knew at that point I could never go home, I was a failure and was better off dead to my family than alive. I called home after a few hours to say goodbye. My wife answered and she could hear the distress in my voice as I told her goodbye. Hearing her voice was the only thing that kept me from ending it all. I knew I had to go home, but I wasn’t sure how I could face her or the kids. That week was hard as I couldn’t look anyone in the face or talk with anyone. I wasn’t one for church and never liked to go. When I did go it was due to the fact I thought it was good for my kids. As the weekend neared and me looking for any type of work I could get, I heard a voice in my head. I know this sounds somewhat crazy, but it was loud and clear to me, “Go to church this weekend, just go and listen for once”. I told my wife that we need to go to church that weekend which came as a big surprise to her. She had grown up a Christian, but had been losing her faith as I fell further and further. She questioned her beliefs and whether she was wrong about it all. She started to look into other things to check them out. I knew that it wasn’t right, but what was I to say. That weekend we went and the sermon was what would become to be known to us as, “The Grape Sermon”. For the first time I actually heard, audibly and so much deeper than that. When I took my wife’s hand during it I felt an energy that I had never felt before. Did I drop to my knees then and ask Jesus into my life, I must admit I didn’t. Still I was skeptical, but I did finally start to listen and hear the words of the sermon, but more important the word of God himself. This all happened in September of 2006, so I continued to go to church and could feel something changing inside of me. October came and we were invited to a concert in a city over an hour away from our house. The band was Ineloquent, I had never really been to a “” Christian Concert. I thought that all that it would be was a bunch of hymns and stuff like that. I was wrong. I enjoyed it and there was something that the lead singer said that really hit me. He talked about his faith and his time that he had fallen away from God. He had always believed, but he had a crisis and fell away from his beliefs. After a few years he talked about how he realized that it wasn’t God’s fault and that he decided to turn back to God. What he said next really hit me right to my heart and the bitter wall I had raised up around my heart began to crumble. He said that even though he had turned his back on God, God had never turned away from him, so when he turned back God was waiting there with open arms to love him and comfort him. When we walked out that night, it began to snow, a crisp clean white snow and I knew right then that I needed God in my life. I asked for Jesus to come into my life and I asked him into my heart. As soon as I did that I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I knew then that it would be ok. That was 10 years ago this month. Have I always been perfect, not even close, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:23. I have had times, but I always knew that he would never turn away from me. I have tried to be the best I could be and as just a man I fall short, very short. But it is through my faith that Jesus is my savior that I am saved and washed clean by his blood. This is my story of my Rebirth as it is. Take it for what it is worth to you, I know what happened to me. This has also had a huge impact on my family, my wife rediscovered her faith and my children have done amazing things in the name of Jesus. God is good…

A verse that has helped me since this time is.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

 

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