Feet barely touching the ground
Time running in place flittering and fleeting
At this moment hardly a sound
Onto the next of life’s meetings

Settled into place
A flashing of a foreign decree
Surrounded by grace
Constantly I cannot see what’s ahead of me

Only in you myself is found
Connected and entwined as one
Forever we two are bound
Until my journey’s are done

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Darkness Into Light



Lost in the night


Hidden from your sight


A thief comes to snatch away your soul


Sadness he leaves


Uncertainty it breeds


Dreams created that leave you morose


When you awake


You’re left with heartache


Looking for the light


Needing help with this fight


Upon the Lord your hope rests


Grace and mercy He provides when you confess


Upon Him you can rely


To take that tear away from your eye


Taking the darkness out of the night


Make your way into His light


How Could I Be Loved


Unable to accept love was my crime

Feeling that I wasn’t worthy of such a gift

Unsure how to act

When you showed it to me time and time again

A horrible sinner was I

Lost in the aspects of this world

Unable to accept the possibility

Why would you love me

How could you care

What was I to you but unwelcoming

You put people in my life to try to show me how

Pushing them away was my response

But you never gave up

You knew I would

When I was at my lowest

Lost to my despair

You reached out your hand

Took a hold of my heart

Told me that through it all you are my son and I love you still

I could not run any longer nor hide my heart

I am your child and reborn into your grace

Thank you Oh Lord for never turning away.

Born Again

cross-72838_960_720Colossians 2:13 “And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses.”

John 3:6-7 “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.”

It was 2006 and I thought I had it all, a job that paid good, a beautiful family and yet I was empty inside. I constantly was looking for something to fill this emptiness I felt. Over the years I had turned to many things, alcohol, drugs, sex and many other things, but it didn’t fill that emptiness for long. I knew of God, but I was a very broken soul. I felt worthless in the eyes of all I knew and I knew that God would never want a broken soul like mine. I was just to damaged. Never did I think I could fall any further, but oh I was wrong, so wrong. My job was what I identified myself with, it was what I felt I needed to have to support and give my family everything. That night I went to work in a good mood, but the next morning I was being walked out of my job and was to never go back. I had been fired. The sting of it all, the failure I felt, the thought of how I had let down my family and it was just to much. I drove around for a while and knew at that point I could never go home, I was a failure and was better off dead to my family than alive. I called home after a few hours to say goodbye. My wife answered and she could hear the distress in my voice as I told her goodbye. Hearing her voice was the only thing that kept me from ending it all. I knew I had to go home, but I wasn’t sure how I could face her or the kids. That week was hard as I couldn’t look anyone in the face or talk with anyone. I wasn’t one for church and never liked to go. When I did go it was due to the fact I thought it was good for my kids. As the weekend neared and me looking for any type of work I could get, I heard a voice in my head. I know this sounds somewhat crazy, but it was loud and clear to me, “Go to church this weekend, just go and listen for once”. I told my wife that we need to go to church that weekend which came as a big surprise to her. She had grown up a Christian, but had been losing her faith as I fell further and further. She questioned her beliefs and whether she was wrong about it all. She started to look into other things to check them out. I knew that it wasn’t right, but what was I to say. That weekend we went and the sermon was what would become to be known to us as, “The Grape Sermon”. For the first time I actually heard, audibly and so much deeper than that. When I took my wife’s hand during it I felt an energy that I had never felt before. Did I drop to my knees then and ask Jesus into my life, I must admit I didn’t. Still I was skeptical, but I did finally start to listen and hear the words of the sermon, but more important the word of God himself. This all happened in September of 2006, so I continued to go to church and could feel something changing inside of me. October came and we were invited to a concert in a city over an hour away from our house. The band was Ineloquent, I had never really been to a “” Christian Concert. I thought that all that it would be was a bunch of hymns and stuff like that. I was wrong. I enjoyed it and there was something that the lead singer said that really hit me. He talked about his faith and his time that he had fallen away from God. He had always believed, but he had a crisis and fell away from his beliefs. After a few years he talked about how he realized that it wasn’t God’s fault and that he decided to turn back to God. What he said next really hit me right to my heart and the bitter wall I had raised up around my heart began to crumble. He said that even though he had turned his back on God, God had never turned away from him, so when he turned back God was waiting there with open arms to love him and comfort him. When we walked out that night, it began to snow, a crisp clean white snow and I knew right then that I needed God in my life. I asked for Jesus to come into my life and I asked him into my heart. As soon as I did that I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I knew then that it would be ok. That was 10 years ago this month. Have I always been perfect, not even close, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:23. I have had times, but I always knew that he would never turn away from me. I have tried to be the best I could be and as just a man I fall short, very short. But it is through my faith that Jesus is my savior that I am saved and washed clean by his blood. This is my story of my Rebirth as it is. Take it for what it is worth to you, I know what happened to me. This has also had a huge impact on my family, my wife rediscovered her faith and my children have done amazing things in the name of Jesus. God is good…

A verse that has helped me since this time is.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”


Pit of Despair


Darkness envelopes me as I’m pulled down

Into a place I can’t escape

My heart turning to stone

My soul lost from my site

Voices call to me

Worthless, unlovable, horrible, unwanted and much more

I try to scratch, I try to crawl my way out

Nothing I do can pull me from the deepening pit of despair

I begin to pull away from the ones I love

A mask I wear to hide my plight

Deep and deeper I fall

Voices tell me you know there is only one way out

I plan the only escape I believe is available

I write my children letters of goodbye

The one I love the most I don’t know how to reach

She has saved me before, but now I’m unsure

Something stops me but I know not why

But I still cannot escape my pit of despair

I begin to turn to mindless distractions

To quiet the voices, but they leave me a void

The one I love reaches to me, but I push her away again and again

A wall grows between us I fall further down

I want to escape and cannot find away

Things come to a head

She says I’m unsure if I can stay

I hit the bottom of my pit of despair

Awaiting me there is a light from somewhere

I look and I see a hand reaching to me

I’m pulled up and out and see the light of day

The rock around my heart begins to crumble

My soul awakens to the warmth and light

Is it to late to win my love back

A hand reaches to me and a voice says to me

My son you are loved, by grace you are mine

My Lord and Savior has saved me again

Why did I turn away and hide my shame

When he never turned from me


This is written to talk about my pain. There are times when we see no escape, but Jesus is always there and never turns away from us. Isaiah 43:18-19, NIV Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Matthew 6:34, NIV Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I hope my love understands that I never stopped loving you or wanting you, I was unable to reach you and I ask for your forgiveness as we go forward each day. For tomorrow is a new day.